Tierra Whack Breaks Reality in 'Cypher'

The word “cypher” has two definitions. In hip-hop culture, a cypher is a gathering of rappers who stand in a circle and take turns freestyling. It also defines a hidden code or secret writing — in World War II, for example, spies would often communicate using cyphers. Tierra Whack plays with both meanings in her new documentary Cypher, now available to stream on Hulu and in select theaters via Andscape.

What starts out as a seemingly typical music documentary soon takes a twist, becoming a commentary on parasocial fan relationships, illuminati conspiracy theories and music documentaries themselves.

“It’s still hard to do interviews because I don’t wanna give it away,” the 28-year-old rapper told PAPER at the Brooklyn premiere of the film earlier this month. “Everyone’s like, oh it’s a documentary, and it’s like, yeah, but… it’s a buildup. You just gotta watch.

It’s true. Throughout the showing, fans become increasingly on the edge of their seats, at points screaming and buzzing at what’s happening on screen as if it were a jump scare. Without giving too much away, the film takes a drastic turn when, after a show one night, a fan approaches Whack and her documentary crew in a diner desperate to show the rapper a YouTube video about an ancient secret society called the Oculists. The fan claims that the Oculists plan to perform an initiation ritual on Whack as their next ‘chosen one.’ What ensues involves hidden cameras, stalking, and acts that blur the line between fiction and reality.



When Tierra Whack first debuted, it was hard to not see her as a once-in-a-lifetime prodigy. She initially gained viral fame through her mind-bending freestyle on the streets of Philadelphia, a compelling artifact that showcases her raw talent and love for the art of rap. In 2018, she released her boundary-breaking debut album Whack World, and soon after came the Grammy nominations, the Apple ads the collaborations with Beyoncé.

Through it all, Whack developed an unstable relationship with fame. In 2021, she abruptly announced that she would be quitting music, before releasing a trio of EPs months later. For the introverted little girl growing up in Philly who would turn to writing poetry as a form of escapism, it seemed as if the added layers that came with becoming a mainstream star were becoming too much.

“When I was young, I was good at so many things, but then I pushed them all to the side to focus on music and rapping and singing,” she says. “So now I’m getting back into drawing and sketching, and that’s been bringing me joy.”

The documentary lands alongside new single, “Chanel Pit,” a classically Whack track that toys with whimsicality and double entendre in the way that fans initially fell in love with. She also has a new album slated for early 2024, which is sure to catapult her back into the public consciousness in a major way. After seeing the film, it occurs to me that perhaps it was her way of working through the feelings that come with so many eyes being on you.

Tierra Whack has always been an unconventional storyteller, a clever jester who aims to play with our understanding of things. It makes sense that her take on the ‘music documentary’ would be a meta-fictional rollercoaster that leaves the viewer questioning if what they just saw was real or not.

As far as what her new album will be like, in one word?

“Whack.”

Photography: Rahul Bhat


Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman Get Into Character

For the majority of filmmaker Todd Haynes’ career, he’s been preoccupied with who we are, how we become and how those answers are inevitably tied to actresses. But it’s a two-pronged notion of actresses: both the cinematic firmament of Julianne Moore or Cate Blanchett (and their quasi-celluloid ancestors Deborah Kerr and Lauren Bacall), but also actresses in the way that women in our society must act under a certain male dominated social framework. Whether it’s the housewife who biomes allergic to her environment in [Safe], the housewife whose forbidden desires are cross-sectioned with her husband’s via deeply saturated color in Far From Heaven or the housewife who is caught between the independence she has about herself with the power her husband has over her in Carol, you could say Todd Haynes is a scholar of, ahem, Reel Housewives.

But these are all studies of how identification is a crucial part of how we all operate socially: the stories and narratives we consume, and their ability to perhaps invite us to understand the characters at their core, is part of a filmic game Haynes is playing. What are the techniques and tools that filmmakers use to both get us to identify with characters, but also indicate where these people exist in a social hierarchy? Melodrama has its operatic emotions, its florid sentimentality, its stinging social critique. Melodrama, too, floods our every day lives, with tabloid narratives frequently banking on the same emotional vocabulary.

So, it makes sense that Haynes would turn his eye to the most twisted questions of identification: what’s worse, identifying with an ambitious, vicarious actress or a woman who’s committed statutory rape? There’s wire-cutting tension built into the question, which may even seem offensive. But in May December, about an actress (Natalie Portman) who visits the home of a woman (Julianne Moore) who was in the tabloids in the 1990s for raping a 13-year-old (a now 35-year-old Charles Melton) to study them for an upcoming movie version of the events, Haynes and screenwriter Samy Burch have leapt in. Haynes, Burch, Moore and Portman saw complexity, age gap mine traps and a twisted persona swap black comedy and dove right in, making May December like bathing in paraffin wax: hot, painful, something that sticks to you.

In an age where every streaming platform has a documentary equivalent to a mea culpa for a woman thrown to the paparazzi wolves, May December smirks, lets its fangs hit the glint of the light and asks if these resurrection narratives are all just part of the same ecosystem of spectatorship and obsession, intense enough to shape our own identities and conceptions of who we are in relation to those other people who commit crime. It is due in no small part to the All About Eve-ish fork-tongued dialogue and matching of wits between Portman’s shrewd observer Elizabeth, eager to look beneath the surface of this marriage, and the direct, unburdened and self-assured thrall of Julianne Moore’s Gracie. As they spend more and more time together, their gestures start to merge, and mimicry becomes an uncanny fever dream. Portman looks into the mirror and says, as a signatory, “Your Gracie,” matching Moore’s lisp, but even more crucially, her guilelessness. They are certain of their own notions of what the truth is, and that they come into conflict with each other, and quake the audience’s sense of it, too; May December marks a flare gun to the head of a highlight to the careers of everyone involed.

PAPER caught a few moments with the stars of May December to talk about getting into character, acting to music and being born or made.

May December has a really rich universe. And I was wondering what your experiences were, Ms. Moore doing the photo shoots for the tabloid photos that we see in the film, and Ms. Portman, shooting the face wash commercial that’s in the movie. What is it like getting into character through these things that briefly tell us about the media landscape that these characters exist in?

Julianne Moore: It’s interesting, this movie was inspired by a particular case [the Mary Kay Letourneau case], [though] it’s not based on [that] case, but we very much used it as inspiration. And so when we were kind of looking at actual tabloid pictures, to recreate Gracie’s tabloid experience, it actually happened very fast. We didn’t have a lot of time to shoot it, [so I was] kind of in and out of these costumes, sometimes only from the waist up, depending what you’re shooting. But it was informative, just in terms of what his character’s history was, what she had gone through, what’s it like to have to walk through a press tour like that. What’s it like to be behind bars for something that you’ve done that’s illegal, you know, that you didn’t think was illegal? I mean, it’s all very complicated. But it was interesting, because it was stuff that we shot previous to working on the film, but it does deeply inform the work that you do.

Natalie Portman: And for the commercial, it was really funny. We laughed a lot making it because we’re so familiar, we’ve seen those commercials so much. We obviously didn’t want to be making fun of the character or making fun of the idea, but there is an absurdity to it that I think was ripe when we were filming it. I remember that the water was really cold. So like the first take, my reaction was like, splashing my face. [scrunches up face to react to ice cold water] And they were like, “Okay, we can’t use that. Can you do it with more, you know, a pretty way of reacting? Not a horrific way of reacting to it.”

A “pretty” way of reacting to ice cold water.

Natalie: Exactly. That was the challenge.

I talked to Todd [Haynes] and he told me that the music from The Go-Between by Michel LeGrand was really embedded in the film very early in the process, that it was in the script and that he played it on the set. And I was wondering what it was like for both of you to have a piece of music that’s so integral to a film’s conception and how it has shaped your approach to performance onset.

Natalie: It was really important for me, I think it was the first time I’ve ever had that where the music that was in the movie was there on set. And it really created a tonal understanding of what we were doing and really, I think, brought us together because it was so specific. Only Todd could have come up with that. Like, I don’t think anyone else would have chosen that music for this script. And it was just this strange atmosphere that was really helpful to understanding what we were making.

Julianne: And in a sense, I think you know, everything that you do production-wise, everything that surrounds you, once again, so informed what you’re doing and sometimes it takes the pressure off of what of what you’re creating in a scene, because it’s about context. So it’s like you’re showing something that’s kind of deliberately domestic and seemingly toothless. And then you put this kind of very, very emotional, this huge music next to it and you’re communicating to the audience that something momentous is happening. And it was wonderful to have that as a tool or to have that kind of as a ballast in our performances.

When Natalie’s doing the talkback, she discusses the question of whether someone was born or made. How would you answer that? Were you born or made?

Julianne: Both, right? I mean, that’s the thing. As a parent, I remember my mother said that to us; she would say, “You’re not any different than you were the day that you were born.” I feel that way about my kids, too. I realize there’s so much about their temperament that I saw right away and that’s that temperament. So I think that sometimes is inherent, but then obviously, [there’s] environment, everything you experience, how you are cultured, how you’re educated, where you live, what language you speak, all of that that, you know, shapes you. And that’s the fascinating thing about it. I think that’s what Natalie is saying in her speech to the students too, right?

Natalie: I think so much of who we are is performance. But maybe the performance that we choose has to do with how we’re born. And in the performances, I should say, because we’re performing many different things for different people at different times.

Photos via Netflix Studios


Nathan Fielder Stole My Fit for NYC's Hottest Club

PAPER is a fashion institution built around guiding principles, like creativity, originality and serving down boots. Those venerable truths have guided me in its relaunch, so imagine the surprise when Nathan Fielder ripped off my outfit idea on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

During a recent appearance on Kimmel’s nightly talk show, Fielder and co-star Emma Stone chatted the Academy Awards host up about their new show, The Curse. Inspired by HGTV series about couples who do home renovations, the haunting Showtime production follows their latest design project as it comes apart at the seams.

Fielder’s new series aside, it’s his outfit that I haven’t taken my mind off over the weekend: cunty black spectacles, fitted cap, Carhartt WIP jeans, screen-printed Kirkland white tee and knockoff Prada lace-up Monolith boots. He didn’t literally steal it from me, although he very well could have. I was going to hit up Basement — underground-turned-mainstream New York electronic club — in this soon!



The most important element of Fielder’s outfit actually goes unseen for the majority of the interview, save for a brief moment where he forces Kimmel and Stone to call The New York Times. It’s the case on his iPhone, inspired by the devilish bunny Kuromi from the Hello Kitty-adjacent My Melody universe, that cinches it all together.

Who told Fielder about the cult favorite Japanese cartoon bunny demon most popular amongst the sorts of people likely to have Picrew “pfps” — animated social media profile pictures — online? Has he been watching Twitch streamers and VTubers in his free time?

Stone, meanwhile, looked sleek and chic in a black suit, which could also get her into Basement, if she swapped the shoes for the Ann Demeulemeester “Alec” boots. Something pedestrian from Rick Owens or GANNI might also do the trick. Likewise, she’ll need a silver body chain and to brush those beachy waves out, lest the door people think she’s a podcaster who got invited by her manicurist. At worst, Fielder could pose as her finance bro boyfriend turned Dimes Square ketamine dealer.

Were I feeling undeservedly gracious towards this thief, I’d offer Fielder the following pointers for the next time he takes a romp through my closet: Crop the shirt, cut it diagonally from the left shoulder, exposing just one nipple, and put the earring on the right. The left side dangly cross is for men who were toxically “metrosexual” in college, and the right is for 40-year-old actors impersonating the aforementioned college students.

Photos courtesy of Disney/ABC

The Little Mermaid Is a Baddie Now

Ariel once asked, “Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl/ The girl who has everything?” But while the languishing teen thought that all she lacked was a pair of legs for jumping, dancing and strolling along down a street, I’d argue that what she lacked was some drip, specifically from Brooklyn-based designer Marshall Columbia.

Columbia’s new collection is a special one: To celebrate Disney’s 100th Anniversary, he partnered with Nordstrom to create exclusive pieces inspired by The Little Mermaid. Just in time for the holidays, the retailer partnered with various brands and artists to curate in-store pop-ups at 26 of their locations around the U.S., including at its New York flagship at 225 West 57th Street. As one of his favorite childhood movies and Disney classics, Columbia chose to focus under the sea for this project, making this feel like a truly nostalgic capsule collection.

The collection includes colorful pieces that would fit right in on the streets of Bushwick. There are leggings reminiscent of a mermaid tail, complete with a belly button ring, an underwater motif strappy dress, baby tees with rhinestone seashells printed on them like Ariel’s iconic bra, a miniskirt with a double-tiered ruffle hem, a sleeveless baby tee and silk scarf emblazoned with Ariel, colorful takes on Columbia’s famous bags with Flounder and Ariel keychains and a cropped hoodie with rhinestone embellishments of Ariel, starfish and shells.

“When I was creating this campaign I wanted this to feel like that fan of The Little Mermaid grew up and became a baddie,” Columbia said. “Ariel still has that red hair and curious personality, she just moved from her small castle town to Brooklyn, NY. Disney movies from the 90s are special in that they really tie so many different types of people together in my generation, and they’re just a reminder that we all were a kid once. This is the type of energy I always want to bring into my work”

Marshall Columbia’s eponymous brand gained recognition for its fun handbags and clothing: plush purses that constantly sell out, playful knits and neon ready-to-wear with sexy cut-outs. The designer has dressed celebrities like Dua Lipa, Julia Fox, Bella Hadid, Doja Cat, Olivia Rodrigo, Kali Uchis, Charli XCX, Miley Cyrus, Kim Petras, Megan Thee Stallion and Hunter Schafer.

In addition to select stores across the nation, the exclusive capsule collection is also available to shop here.

Photography: Joaquin Castillo
Creative direction: Marshall Columbia
Makeup: Nina Carelli
Hair: Sergio Estrada
Set design: Jacob Burstein
Assistant set design: Cullen Gradey
Talent:
Annika Dalland

Introducing 'So Chic, Very Chic'

This is So Chic, Very Chic, PAPER’s examination of Bravo’s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. Never before has a group of people — or their stylists — brought such a dynamic range of fashion to television each week. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they’ve literally worn it all. Sometimes they stunt, sometimes they turn the look and sometimes they burn holes in my retinas my ophthalmologist says might never heal.

Each week, I’ll break down the best, worst and most unhinged outfits on Bravo’s rotating schedule including The Real Housewives, Vanderpump Rules, Married to Medicine and even the various Summer House spinoffs, when I’m feeling bored (like, really bored.)

Why document these looks at all? Well, Bella Hadid owes her early career origins to RHOBH, a show on which PAPER star Lisa Rinna also reinvented herself into a fashion muse worldwide. Jenna Lyons, the mastermind behind J.Crew’s unimaginable success, found herself the focal point of RHONY’s recent reboot. Former billionaires’ wives have appeared on the show, as have models and designers and custom couture and more labels than anyone could feasibly count in their lifetime. It’d be a disservice to fashion history were these outfits to go unstudied, or archived, at all.

Enough about all that, though. Bring on the fashions!

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Mia Thornton and Karen Huger

I texted PAPER editor Matt Wille at 11:23 PM on Monday: “Emma Frost and Rogue.” Sorry, Matt! Mia showed up to sign a peace treaty lakeside in this white bodysuit and flesh colored, organza imitation trench coat. Karen, meanwhile, dressed like an assassin set to disrupt negotiations. I bet there’s a tiny little pistol concealed in her Chanel bag, and maybe a knife strapped to her leg.

What, exactly, is the purpose of Mia’s trench coat? What was the decision making process when purchasing it? It’s all a bit ridiculous when put up against the sleek outfit Karen arrived in.

Mia Thornton, Charisse Jackson Jordan and Wendy Osefo

Let’s move right past Ashley Darby, who looks relatively normal this season. Instead, my eyes immediately settled on Charisse. She’s dressed like a women’s basketball coach who has church right after the game, which is fine, considering her status as a former NBA wife. Mia, meanwhile, should have lost the blazer (so many blazers on this show!) and let that garish combo underneath sing its nasty little tune alone. Conversely, I quite like what Wendy wore, even though I couldn’t snap a proper pic of it from the front. For once, I didn’t hiss at the Chanel bag, and the tailoring on her denim skirt suit was impeccable!

Robyn Dixon

I will generally stray away from confessionals, because the medium has devolved into utter insanity post-Erika Jayne’s first season on RHOBH. Still, this dress (I think it’s a dress) was simply unbelievable. It’s like she skinned Abby from Sesame Street and wore the poor puppet’s flesh like a skin suit.

Married to Medicine

Toya Bush Harris and Phaedra Parks

When Phaedra walked into the bridal boutique in a cunty little bob and Gucci laptop bag, I screamed. Shortly after I saw the ostrich feather shoulder appliqués and pussybow tie, I was rushed to the hospital. When I woke up in the ER and was explained to by a doctor that Toya had on a mesh crop top and satin-look cargo skirt, they had to grab the defibrillator. I’ve got absolutely no notes, ladies. Fabulous work all around.

Dr. Jackie, Dr. Heavenly and Phaedra Parks

Married to Medicine delights me because the women refuse to dress for the same event. Jackie is ready for a night out in her clingy, off-the-shoulder bodycon fit. Heavenly looks like she’s about to deliver the keynote at a marriage conference and Phaedra showed up like the bride in her third fit of the evening, after all the old people have gone home mid-reception. More bobs, Phaedra! More bobs!

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

Angie Katsanevas

Angie dressed like an extra in those scenes from the Fast & Furious franchise where a bunch of hot women gather around some cars and dance sexily to reggaeton.

Meredith Marks

This leather, single-breasted blazer with lace sleeves and paneling has dumbfounded every single member of PAPER’s editorial staff. We have collectively swung between the extreme ends of the emotional spectrum: shock, rage, grief, delight. Also, why is the lace paneling in the back placed like a racing stripe? Why is any of this happening to me?

Some Lady

Monica’s mom doesn’t deserve to be named in the hallowed halls of PAPER, considering her evil onscreen behavior. Still, I did feel a need to memorialize this Burberry fit as: “What not to wear when returning the car you stole from your daughter and her four children if she refuses to give you a ride back home in it.”

The Real Housewives of Miami

Lisa Hochstein, Kiki Barth and Alexia Nepola

The women of Miami gathered this week for a party to celebrate Michael Jordan’s son coming back home after four days away from new girlfriend Larsa Pippen. (None of those words are in the bible.)

Lisa wore denim and coordinated with her man to modernize Britney and Justin’s iconic red carpet ensembles. Considering the optics, it’s bad timing on Lisa’s part, although I applaud her for finding a dress where the ostrich feather trim sits a good two inches above the hemline. Kiki looks good, so let me instead focus on Alexia’s one million statement necklaces. Are statement necklaces actually circulating again in mid-level boutiques, or did they never leave? I worry, because the pattern on her co-ord set was quite popular in 2011. At the tail end of 2023, the entire outfit reads like an omen of fashion doom.

Marysol Patton

Marysol considers herself a gay icon. Why? She says “cockies” instead of cocktails. She parties with lots of gay men. She throws an annual “gay brunch.” She’s been on television. And to round out this persona, she shows up on camera in outfits that look like this. It’s not so much gay iconography as it is “down on her luck Disney princess for-hire at a six year old’s birthday party.”

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle Richards, Erika Jayne, Crystal Kung Minkoff and Garcelle Beauvais

RHOBH let me down this week! The normally fashion-forward cast was on the final night of their Las Vegas trip and wore cowboy costumes and full body sequin jumpsuits. Erika technically looks good in both, even if we’ve now confirmed her fashion sensibilities were purchased prior to her financial troubles, rather than being innate. Garcelle, meanwhile, wore these pants. She’s taken enough of a beating on social media for the hospital gown she wore last week, so I’ll let them speak for themselves.

Photos courtesy of Bravo/NBCUniversal Media, LLC


The 'Mean Girls' Remake Is a Gen Z Fashion Paradox

Mean Girls is coming back to the big screen in 2024. The long-awaited sequel-remake-revival will adapt the popular broadway musical based on the original teen flick, both penned by former funny lady Tina Fey. If the popularity of the musical is anything to go by, the film is sure to make something akin to a splash with modern audiences, even if the fashions have landed with an uncomfortable thud.

The trailer below sees up-and-comer Reneé Rapp star as Regina George opposite Angourie Rice as Cady Heron, with familiar faces like Tim Meadows, Jenna Fischer, Busy Phillips, Jon Hamm and even Ashley Park in supporting roles. Music from the musical, which hews closely to the 2004 comedy, is absent from the trailer — a choice by the studio I won’t think very long or hard about. (My guess? It’s bad.)



As for the fashion seen in the trailer, it’s obvious Fey worked with her longtime costume collaborator, Tom Broecker. His work can be seen on nearly 20 years of SNL sketches, most of 30 Rock and prior to that, the original season of The Comeback. He’s clearly a pro in the field, even if his designs feel somewhat frozen in time. Likewise, Fey has not necessarily built her career on fashion acumen, which became something of a running gag in her various projects, from the original Mean Girls to 30 Rock and even Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

Still, Mean Girls has endured as the quintessential parody of suburban American high schools in the aughts precisely because of how preserved in amber its fashions felt at the time, and still do, even amongst younger audiences. Cardigans, miniskirts, pink and purple exposed bra straps under camisoles, Converse, flannels, velour tracksuits: the de facto iconography of the time.

By comparison, the trailer is chock full of references to prior outfits from the original and the costumes worn in the musical. Sure, Regina George’s pink miniskirt and cardigan combo is downright legendary. At times, Rapp’s Regina edges close to dazzling like the original — particularly the Gaultier-inspired mesh top and exposed corset — but the cast around her fails to make a similar impression. Jaquel Spivey and Auli’i Cravalho’s costumes as alt duo Janis and Damian are almost direct parallels to what those characters wore in the original. Cady even revives the exact same spooky “ex-wife” costume from the Halloween party, fake teeth and all.

There are a few clever updates, like swapping the boob cutout gag for a TikTok filter that looks like runny mascara and fluorescent eyeshadow. Props to department head Shannon Thompson for pulling on Gen Z’s quintessential beauty look accessory: questionable eye makeup. Damian also quips how a prank gone wrong — dousing Regina in water — “accidentally revived the wet look,” another nod to a trend to circle back around in recent years, for better or worse.

Still, the trailer’s costuming does nothing much to crawl out from under the shadow of the original’s monumental legacy. Jokes about TikTok filters and Busy Phillips’ phenomenal bimbo character acting are simply not enough to paper over that lack of ingenuity. Rather than a cutting examination of young people’s fashion trends via Fey’s snarky sensibilities, the trailer reads like an Aerie Black Friday ad from 2015 that was edited together with a 5-Minute Crafts tutorial on “How to Create the Regina George Look” for Halloween.

If anything, the Mean Girls revival’s fashion proves that some things are better left in the past, or those parody TikTok videos about what we wore to Jason’s homecoming party in his parent’s basement circa 2007. Let’s leave the Gen Z fashions to people like PAPER star Baby Storme.

Photos courtesy of Paramount Pictures

Nike Submits the Jaw-Dropping National Women's Soccer League for a Golden Globe

Move over TV’s hottest dramas! The Hollywood Foreign Press Association has a new television heavyweight to battle with for top contender at the Golden Globe Awards this year. For the first time in the league’s 11-year existence, PAPER can exclusively confirm that Nike has submitted the 2023 season of the National Women’s Soccer League for “Best Television Series, Drama.”

Rumors of the nomination first surfaced on DeuxMoi, who hinted that something was afoot for the NWSL at the 81st Golden Globe Awards. As the 2023 NWSL Championship looms closer for the league, an unnamed source has corroborated a DeuxMoi rumor that Nike submitted this year’s NWSL season for awards consideration.

No word yet on how the submission will be received by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, but there’s never been this many eyes on the National Women’s Soccer League. Megan Rapinoe’s final OL Reign home game before the soccer legend’s retirement set a new benchmark of most ever viewers for a regular season match, with 683,000. Back in June, the league also reported attendance had risen by 48% since 2022.

The submission will likely come as a surprise to more seasoned TV critics and viewers alike, as the NWSL season being up for “Best Television Series, Drama” might certainly shake things up. Speak to fans of the NWSL, however, and you’d probably hear a different story. Only 11 years into its existence, the league has swiftly gained both popularity and international renown for its stable of established stars, like San Diego Wave’s Alex Morgan and Naomi Girma, or Gotham FC’s Midge Purce and Lynn Williams.

Portland Thorns forward and Nike athlete Sophia Smith nabbed the 2023 NWSL Golden Boot — for most goals scored in the season — with 11 total goals scored over 16 games. She also missed part of the season while competing with the U.S. Women’s National Team at the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup, which makes her Golden Boot that much more impressive.

Beyond its individual players, this season of the NWSL has been the most competitive to date, with only 13 points separating the first and 12th place teams at the end of the regular season. This sort of parity between the top and bottom ranking teams is indicative of the dramatic highs and lows of the 2023 season. On the final game day of the season, 10 of those teams were still in contention for the playoffs. In Golden Globes terms, the cliffhangers kept on coming.

The playoffs have continued this trend of dramatic, on-field storytelling in a series of stunning wins, and to soccer fans immense shock, some genuinely shocking upsets. Angel City FC, who rallied in the mid-season, lost in the quarterfinals after OL Reign made a goal with only three minutes left before the final whistle — in TV terms, when the credits roll after a dramatic needle drop.

With such close competition going into the finals, who will nab the coveted Championship trophy… or that coveted Golden Globes statue? Tune into the Finals this Saturday at 8PM ET, this is a season finale you won’t want to miss.

Created in partnership with #TeamNike

Searching for Fashion at BravoCon

BravoCon, a trade show for the women who make the internet go ’round, just wrapped up its third iteration in Las Vegas, an arguably tasteless city. Hardworking stylists did their damndest to bring an air of sophistication to an event besieged by rabid fans and equally rabid People Magazine personalities — and sadly failed.

For the uninitiated, the three-day event features a red carpet, interviews with stars of Bravo’s television portfolio, and booths with merch and other oddities peddled by the reality TV layabouts. (Think DragCon for straight women who don’t tip at brunch and their gay friends who work in marketing.)

Bravo-lebrities are not generally known for their ability to dress themselves. In fact, properly styling oneself is a trait that producers of The Real Housewives and its various affiliate shows seem to actively avoid in cast members. Truthfully, I just think rich people are usually taste-averse, and I find myself endlessly fascinated with the results of their attempts at style. This is not to say the event was devoid of any fashion sensibility. In fact, a few outfits were positively delightful.

Let’s hold hands and take a trip down sartorial lane, shall we?

Candiace Dillard-Basset, Real Housewives of Potomac

Let’s start things off on a positive note. Say hello to Mrs. Hamburglar, the long-time villain-turned-star of The Real Housewives of McDonalds. The shoes are an obvious miss here, and the hair should have gone up instead of down, but consider this the highest point we’ll reach on this long and winding journey.

​Brynn Whitfield, The Real Housewives of New York

It’s not everyday one will find a mid-level Condé staffer, at a marketing lunch in partnership with a new Dove moisturizing lotion and a children’s charity for arts funding, on the red carpet at BravoCon. This look gets high marks for me! (Side note: An escalator ate those Louboutins, which is the only fate red bottoms deserve.)

Tom Sandoval, Vanderpump Rules

Tom Sandoval thinks he’s babygirl, a front man for a 30 Seconds to Mars cover band in a Reno casino and also cool, which is his worst offense. The look is one of obvious insecurity on his part, knowing he’d show up to a weekend filled with literal pitchforks pointed in his direction for cheating on the Princess Diana of Bravo, Ariana Madix. Kudos to him, though. The Thom Browne for TJ Maxx getup successfully diverted my attention away from all that philandering he got himself embroiled in.

Katie Maloney, Vanderpump Rules

The millennials of Bravo need an intervention, and maybe even hypnosis. I’d like to start somewhere with this outfit, but every time I look back at it my eyes find something new to feel scandalized by. The bangles on one arm are about as egregious as the studded belt, which might have paired better with something that didn’t give the appearance of an Old Navy Christmas commercial. That said, I’d like to pay Katie a compliment. I mean this sincerely: This hair really works for you. I’m glad you’ve landed on it after 10 years of searching.

Teresa Giudice, The Real Housewives of New Jersey

There are these mobile game ads I get on Twitter sometimes. From the looks of it, the game is a front for online gambling and has the aesthetics of Caesar’s Atlantic City casino. There are always vaguely hot women in Grecian garb telling me to give them my credit card information in the ads, and all of them look shockingly similar to Teresa here.

Lisa Vanderpump, Vanderpump Rules

Lisa Vanderpump dresses like a revival of Oliver Twist set on a Florida cruise ship sponsored and costumed by Chico’s Off the Rack. There’s a lot to dislike about this outfit, but my mind is mostly preoccupied with thoughts of Giggy 3.0’s fur getting stuck in the bedazzled pinstripes on her blazer.

Heather Gay, The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

If she’d just worn the dress I might have left her off the list, but she actually dressed up like a Mormon missionary trapped in a latex condom. I’m ignoring the purse, which is probably the most expensive she owns, and instead leaving everyone with this mental image: The manager at the frozen yogurt store I worked at in high school loved those black Adidas. She said they were perfect for standing long periods of time behind a cash register.

Paige DeSorbo, Summer House

I’ll say this about Paige: She is a singularly bad dresser, which is an accomplishment most of her peers can never achieve for themselves. Like Virginie Viard, she’s commercialized the idea of Chanel in a rather pedestrian way. The panty isn’t bad, per se, but the Men’s Wearhouse prom button-up and chain fastener is unforgivable. That said, thank you for the laugh!

Erin Lichy, The Real Housewives of New York

Whereas Paige was dressed for a pop-up event for Selling Sunset’s new season, Erin is dressed for an influencer marketing hang at Catch NYC. Likewise, ill-fitting latex Depends were a major trend at BravoCon this year, which worries me about the state of the Nordstrom Rack sale section.

All photos via Getty